Overthinking Things? You Can Stop

They were swarming around me like pesky mosquitoes, refusing to leave until they had drained and exhausted me. The problem itself was no longer the problem; my thoughts about the problem–the thoughts I couldn’t seem to turn off or get away from–were now the bigger issue. I just wanted to quit overthinking the situation…but I couldn’t seem to stop.

I’m not a chronic overthinker. But, like many women, I’ve had seasons in my life when I gave in to overthinking a mistake, conflict or loss. The season of hurt that precipitated me writing Joseph – Keeping a Soft Heart in a Hard Place was one of those times. I remember talking to my Christian counselor about the issue I was dealing with for a while and then wrapping up our session by asking her, “How do I stop thinking about it?”

The Battle’s On

Are you an overthinker? If you’ve never been one to overthink you may be scratching your head in confusion. But if you’re a chronic overthinker or someone like me who has been plagued with unrelenting thoughts during a specific season of life, you know all too well the downward spiral your thought life can suck you into.

According to Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D., author of Women Who Think Too Much, overthinking is not our friend. In fact, overthinking can:

• make life’s stresses and problems seem even bigger and more daunting than they really are
• hurt our relationships
• contribute to serious mental disorders, including depression, severe anxiety and addictions
• become an ingrained habit that results in bondage.

Why I’m Overthinking

The reason we sometimes struggle with turning off our thoughts once we’ve started ruminating is that overthinking combines negative emotions and a series of memories or thoughts to create a sort of sticky web. Our brain creates a track on which we develop some proficiency moving between the points in that web. But once our brain picks up speed and proficiency within the web, we can’t get off that track in order to develop constructive conclusions, move on to other concerns or change our attitude. Our emotions have wrapped around our thoughts in a way that pulls us down rather than propelling us forward. We lose hope and potentially sink into depression.

The Bible teaches us that our minds are battlefields on which Satan tries to build strongholds of deception. He is the father of lies and uses them craftily to keep us from trusting God and moving forward in faith. Satan desires to wrap us up in debilitating thought patterns that keep us focused on self, magnify our circumstances, cast doubt on the truth and diminish God’s power.

When we overthink our circumstances, our losses or our relationship struggles, we tend to do so apart from God. Sure, we may pray, too, but the conversation in our head generally excludes God and volleys back and forth between only me, myself and I.

You Can Stop Overthinking

If you’re struggling with overthinking I’d like to suggest some remedies that can help you break free from this bondage. These are both suggestions from Nolen-Hoeksema’s book and my own practice, but I’m providing the biblical rational as well. You can download a printable copy of these tips here.

• Get this straight: overthinking is not your friend. It’s a tool of the enemy. Persistently draw near to God and your enemy will flee (James 4:7-8).
• Look! Squirrel! Actually, look for a distraction. Engage your mind elsewhere. Nolen-Hoeksema’s research indicated that when overthinkers were distracted from their thoughts for even just eight minutes their moods lifted significantly and they made headway breaking their cycles of repetitive thoughts.
• Move it. Turns out active distractions are better at reducing depression and overthinking, probably because brain chemicals such as norepinephrine or serotonin are produced when we exert ourselves physically. If your overthinking is causing insomnia, get up after 15 or 20 minutes of sleeplessness. Clean something, organize a drawer or scrapbook.
• Police your thoughts. Nolen-Hoeksema suggested that you tell the spiraling thoughts, “Stop!” The Bible suggests we go a step further and speak truth to ourselves, as David did in Psalm 103.
• Build a fortress of truth in your mind. Search God’s Word for truths that will counter the emotional spiral your overthinking precipitates. Write these scriptures on index cards, meditate on them and memorize them. Philippians 4:8 tells us to choose wisely what we dwell on. Likewise, Nolen-Hoeksema said to develop a plan of attack and “don’t let the {repetitive} thoughts win.”
• Schedule your thinking. At one point I decided to think about my hurtful situation only at 4:30 each afternoon. If I caught myself ruminating over it earlier in the day, I gently told myself, “No, we’re going to think about that later.” More often than not, by 4:30 my dilemma didn’t seem nearly as daunting, my mood had lifted and I was more likely to pray about my concerns than think about them.
• Hand it over. Nolen-Hoeksema found that “40 percent of people {they} interviewed…said that they turn to prayer or spiritual meditation to break free from their distress and overthinking.” More importantly, the Bible tells us to “cast all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 4:7)
• Talk it out with someone. But choose your sounding board wisely. One of the reasons Nolen-Hoeksema believed women were more prone to ruminating is because we do it together. Instead of talking it out with someone who just lets you vent or agrees with you, converse with a friend, mentor or counselor who gently pushes you toward solutions and a positive perspective.
• Put it to paper. You might find relief and clarity when you journal your thoughts rather than letting them loop through your head.
• Put someone else in charge. Because our minds are battlefields, it’s important to call in reinforcements. Tell God you are struggling with overthinking. Ask Him to reign in your thoughts and clear your mind of the emotional debris. Then put into practice His biblical commands such as Philippians 4:8 and allow Him to stand guard.

You may be so accustomed to overthinking that you have begun to think this is normal. It’s not. It’s bondage. But you can find relief and freedom from this habit. I encourage you to print out the suggestions above here.

If you are overthinking a recent transition, hurt or loss, you may want to check out my Bible study Joseph – Keeping a Soft Heart in a Hard Place. If you’re interested in Nolen-Hoeksema’s book, Women Who Think Too Much, just keep in mind that this is a secular book and does not promote a biblical worldview. However, I found it helpful and sound.

---

Psst. Did you know that I sometimes provide special offers and gifts just to my email subscribers? I’m so honored that you read my words today. You can receive my entire blog post in your email box each time I post if you subscribe and confirm your subscription today. Use the form in the right margin labeled FREE EBOOK WITH BLOG SUBSCRIPTION. You’ll also receive my ebook about friendship, Sit Under My Apple Tree when you do. I don’t publish my blog posts but once or twice a week, so you won’t be overwhelmed by my emails, but I do treat my mailing list well 😉  I hope we can keep in touch! And I welcome your comments on my posts.