Beginnings Make Me Nervous

Forget “not-so-wordy.” I’ve got too many thoughts swimming in my head for that.

Today we launched our first Satisfied…at Last! Bible study! It was exciting and nerve-wracking all at the same time. I don’t think I’ve ever been so petrified to begin teaching a Bible study. Normally I’m cool as a cucumber when I begin a class, but not today.

It all had something to do with the fact that when our custodian told me he was about to go lower the video projector screens and I told him that wouldn’t be necessary. There would be no video today. I was “it.” I wouldn’t just be facilitating discussion – something I can do blindfolded – but I’d be doing more of the “master teacher” sort of thing. And not only that, but I’d be teaching my own material.

Sure, I’ve taught or spoken on my own material before. But I’ve somehow convinced these ladies to commit seven weeks of their lives and $15 of their hard-earned money to my material this time. That’s a little daunting to me.

Here’s what I fear:

• That they’ll read my words and wonder what in the world I’m talking about. “What’s she so hungry for? Is she really that needy? My oh, my!”
• That they’ll read my personal story and never want to have anything to do with me again. I don’t share all my details, but, like most people, I’ve done my share of stupid. 
• That I’ll have written a Bible study for me and no one else. (I take comfort in the fact that I’ve heard Beth Moore voice the same fear before. Of course, that’s Beth Moore and this is… well…not.)

But I garnered my fears and got my self to the church on time and greeted my ladies. They were a welcome sight to my petrified eyes. Tonight as I write this, I love them for being there and I love them even more for laughing at the appropriate times and nodding their sweet heads like I’d said something that made sense occasionally. They put my fears to rest and I got through hurdle number one. That is, we got through the first speaking session, but now they have to go home and do the homework. If they show back up next week, we’ve got a winner.  

Or I’ve got winner friends, one or the other. 

Plus, I have to go back and face class number 2 tonight. But with this morning’s session under my belt, I feel a little more confident.

Not prideful, mind you. I know what pride goes before…

I created a FaceBook page for those who are doing the Bible study on their on as well as those who are in a class. So if you’re doing the study or you’d like to see what my students are saying about it and you’re on FB, take a look. It’s the Satisfied at Last page and I’m assuming it’s open to anyone…if I set it up right. Don’t even get me started on my fears about that!