Will You Be There? The Ministry of Your Presence

I specifically told my friend she didn’t need to attend the meeting. I wanted her to know about the meeting, to pray for those involved, to know what I was going through. But I didn’t expect her to be there. After all, she didn’t normally attend this meeting.

But when I walked in the crowded room I immediately saw her sitting on the other side. There wasn’t a space for me to sit near her, and I didn’t need to. Just knowing she was there…for me…was enough to give me an extra dose of courage, peace and calm.

My friend’s presence ministered to me that night. In fact, we didn’t even exchange any words. She glanced my way at one point and I smiled appreciatively. But her physical presence in the room encouraged me this time, not her words.

Has Someone Been There for You?

I bet you can recall times when someone’s mere presence fortified you as well. Maybe someone sat with you in the surgery waiting room or rode with you to run errands on a hard day or sat beside you as the specialist across the desk explained your diagnosis or sat in the back of the courtroom as your marriage officially ended.

Or maybe you’ve been thankful for someone’s presence when they didn’t even mean to support you specifically. You just felt grateful to see someone you knew at the church you were visiting for the first time. Or you were glad someone actually showed up at your book signing…even if you could tell they had dropped into the book store unaware you had a signing event going on. Or maybe you breathed a sigh of relief because you weren’t the only woman who showed up for the new support group you had mustered up the courage to attend.

Sometimes We Don’t Show Up

If we value the gift of other people’s presence, why do we sometimes fail to give that gift? Sometimes I don’t show up because I fear I have nothing to bring to the situation. I worry that I won’t have words of encouragement or support or wisdom to offer. I don’t know what to do…and shouldn’t I do something? Or worse yet, what if I do or say the wrong thing?

And so I don’t go.

Other times I convince myself I’m not needed and I won’t be missed. I count on others to show up and assume my absence is unnoticeable. Maybe I feel lazy or listless or uninterested or uninspired, and I tell myself no one really counts on me to be there.

But honestly, while others may fill the room, no one else fills my seat.

Others may fill the room, but no one fills my space. I need to show up. Click To Tweet

My Presence is Important

The apostle Paul valued the ministry of presence.

Make every effort to come to me soon.” (2 Timothy 4:9)

Only Luke is with me. Pick up Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service.” (2 Timothy 4:11)

And I rejoice over the coming of Stephanas and Fortunatus and Achaicus…for they have refreshed my spirit and yours.” (1 Corinthians 16:17-18)

Paul often noted those who were with him…and those who had departed from him. Paul noticed the presence of others in his life. I think we all do, too.

Now Paul valued no one’s presence over that of the Lord. He remarked that “the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me…and delivered {me} out of the lion’s mouth” when others had deserted him (2 Timothy 4:16-17). The Lord’s presence is valuable and worthy of seeking out because He can satisfy us, empower us, protect us and guide us like no other person.

But that doesn’t let you and me off the hook. Just because He is with someone doesn’t give me permission not to show up.

Here’s the Point

When I show up I communicate that I value the company I am with. My presence says I’m invested, I’m available, I’m committed and I’m concerned. In fact, sometimes it is best for me to keep my mouth shut and simply allow my presence to speak for me. And while there are times I need to chime in with well measured words of encouragement or perspective or compassion or love, my presence is often what will be remembered most.

My words may feel clumsy, but my presence will be remembered long after my words are forgotten. Click To Tweet

• We need to show up at church. Friend, we are the church. We fill our space or we leave a hole. Our presence at church ministers to someone — the visitor, the teacher who prepared a lesson, the woman looking for a friend, the greeter who has anticipated our arrival. And our absence leaves a hole — in the worship of God, the service to one another, the fellowship of the body, the power of the prayers.

• We need to show up at home. Look, there’s being in the home and there’s being home. I’ve been convicted recently of the amount of time I spend scrolling my iPhone when I’m with my husband. Yeah, we’re often just watching a movie together, but still. I’m not engaged or invested in the movie we’ve agreed to watch together if I’m surfing Facebook or Instagram. Are there ways in which you are physically present at home, but not all there?

• We need to show up for the hurting. I feel so inadequate around those who are hurting. Not only do I struggle with what to say, but I fear saying the wrong thing. But, while listening, encouraging and offering a simple hope-filled prayer are usually safe and appreciated, I’ve discovered that my presence is often enough on its own.

Let’s Be There

This week I’m trying to be more aware of each opportunity I have to really show up for someone — at church, at home or for the hurting — and to intentionally be there. Will you be there, too?

I’d love to read your thoughts, insights and experiences concerning the gift of presence.

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If you’d like to ponder the gift of presence more, you might be interested in my book on friendship. You can read more about it and order it here or on Amazon.